I had a facial in the middle of a field and must say without exaggeration or unnecessary beautification that it was one of the best facials I’ve ever had in my life. Maybe it was because I was at a festival with my kids (we’ll come back to it, I must’ve been crazy) and the possibility to lie still with my eyes closed was an absolute heaven in itself. but I think it was mainly due to the highly skilled hands of my skilled Weleda Facilitator.
You may be wondering why on earth I would be at a festival with my children: I asked the same question about three minutes after I arrived at the parking lot. When one kid (Ted, two) screamed because we had brought the wrong socks and the other (Angelica, four) had repeatedly asked for their new sleeping bag, like some sort of obsessive battery-operated talking doll, the adults traded various large and heavy packages from the trunk to the smallest trolley in the world.
People on social media always seem to make festivals fun for kids. I have decided that they are either superhuman and find it easy, or they are totally crazy and live on chaos, sweaty tents, and drag their little kids around in glorified wheelbarrows. I suppose I just do not understand the point at festivals when all the benefits of this festival are completely negated by the presence of your children, who need constant conversation, continuous feeding and refuse to go to sleep. Ever.
And I suppose I do not even do it Really I appreciate the benefits of a full festival because a) I do not like camping and b) if I drink too much I get bladder infection and cystitis does not go well with festival toilets. Oh and c) I hate crowds and loud noises.
Fortunately, there were very few crowds at the ValleyFest. If there ever was a “starter festival” to settle for, it would. Somewhat south of Bristol, on a beautiful lake, it was more of a big party than a festival – it had a friendly atmosphere and a friendly atmosphere relaxed, sunny atmosphere. Yeo Valley spent free milk. There was a big tractor to take your luggage to the campsite. The loudest music stopped at 11 pm so that the parents could sleep a little. Loos were the type you get at weddings, with sinks and lights and so on, and not the half-door monstrosities I’ve seen elsewhere. Best of all, Weleda (one of my long-time skin care brand names) did face and hand massages and generally provided those in need of care with the necessary respite and shelter.
My sister and I sprinted to Weleda reception. We desperately wanted to get ourselves into a horizontal position without an air mattress. And the Weleda tent was like a canvas sanctuary, full of skincare pleasures and people with soft voices. It calmed down even as the bass boomed off the main stage, which was only a few tens of yards away. (A few tens of meters? Listen to me! That’s what you say at a festival.)
I began this post by praising the skills of my faculty and I will praise her again. Megan had the hands of an angel. But a firm and thorough angel, not one of those with a gentle and whimsical touch, not a weedy angel managing facial movements with a whisper of a beat here and a tickling of the nose there. (Can not stand a tickle with either a facial or a massage, which makes me both uncomfortable and deeply annoyed, tickling is such a waste of time, do not fret, just keep going.)
So yes, luckily Megan was not a clit, the pressure was just right and – JOY! – She dipped right in with a massage while she was cleaning my face! A cleaning on purpose! There is nothing worse than a prolonged cleaning with eighty-five products. The sucking sound of the cream being pressed onto the skin is interrupted by the frequent wringing of the flannel just behind your head. When I’m cleaned for more than a minute, I want the experience to have a sensory aura, that is, an extra massage that makes my eyes roll back into my head and puts me in a state of unprecedented bliss.
It rarely happens, but it happened in my facial in a field. It was only half an hour that you think it would be bad for your ability to relax, but I was conscious all the time and felt like a week. I sincerely thought that the 30 minutes printed on the ticket had been a typo. It was great and relaxing than a day in a posh spa. Half an hour! Thirty minutes! It takes me so long to remember the password for my online banking!
I often come out of a “branded” facial and feel the bitter disappointment that the focus of the entire treatment was on the products rather than the physical activity. When the faculty member applies four different masks, a scrub, five oils, and the names of the products whisper in my ear all the time, like a kind of subliminal messaging exercise. This is the Alvira scrub, the Alvira scrub, the Alviraaaaaaa … .. However, when a facial relies on very few products, it is more about the therapist’s handiwork than ingredients. And that’s what I prefer.
Last year I took a very expensive brand facial treatment (actually again for half an hour, I think it was at an event) and the products that were used were all well over 150 pounds each. I got a running commentary on each one, the benefits, why it was used and how it was applied. I felt like saying, “I can never lie still and be touched with my eyes closed, just be calm and rub my face!”
That would have been rude, but it was the biggest waste of half an hour. If I used a spatula to put masks on myself and listen to pointless chatter, I would do it at home. So well done, Weleda, because she chose only the most minimal product range and relied on skill rather than marketing.
The products used in the Radiance Restoring Routine (which you can make yourself, though without Megan’s Magical Touch) are all massively gentle and beautiful and have all been included in my skin care favorites at some point. Almond cleansing lotion (see my review Here) Almond soothing facial oil for massage and then Skin Food (see rating Here) used as a mask and then supplied with moisture. I swarmed recently Skin Food Light – You can read this review HereIt’s a great alternative to the very rich and slightly oily original skin food.)
I worked this list down to the bone, but I should point out that there were a few extra twists and turns, including compresses with flannels soaked in Weleda bath milk (rosemary to start, lavender to stop), and eye buffers chamomile tea bags. Nothing fussy, nothing out of the ordinary and a skilful use of her incredible bath milk.
Visit the website for a list of Weleda consultants who are all trained in this facial Here, There is no special place to do the facial treatment (please do that, Weleda!). However, if you enter your postal code, the nearest Wellbeing Advisors will be notified. If you are in Cheshire, your next – thankfully – is perhaps the wonderful Megan. I highly recommend it. If I enjoyed my treatment in the middle of a festival site, after a sleepless night in a sweat box and in my brain, imagine basement Jaxx’s thunderous hymns of how much you would enjoy it in a normal situation. Knowing that you did not have to return to three crazy little people who’d searched the emergency cooler and had eaten six jellies, four packets of cheese doritos and eight Ellas Kitchen breakfast bags.
The website for ValleyFest is Here and my opinion about it would be very good overall. Unbelievably clean, very friendly, great atmosphere and nice surroundings. Leave the little people with grandma. We got off on Saturday afternoon after our facials because the kids had a fever and we could not sit in our tents because it was too hot for them. The packing and returning of our things to the car without the help of the handy tractor was a nadir. We had to do a version of the Walk of Shame in the middle of the festival; I’m wearing Ted, a backpack, two food bags and a trunki. Mr. AMR is looking for the whole world like someone who has fought zombies in a post-apocalyptic marsh in the last few hours. Families stared at us as we dropped tent pegs, tears back and toddlers dragged along, the ragged bands of a broken dragon behind us. It was grim. At some point I thought my heart would fail, but it was not as bad as The time when I almost died of exhaustionSo it does not quite make it to the hall of fame of over-exertion …